


Han Shot First

by heyjupiter



Category: Breaking Bad
Genre: Gen, Pre-Canon, Underage Drug Use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-10
Updated: 2015-01-10
Packaged: 2018-03-07 00:48:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3154571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heyjupiter/pseuds/heyjupiter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A long time ago (1997) in a movie theater far, far away (Albuquerque), the Special Edition of Star Wars was re-released into theaters. Jesse Pinkman saw the movie for the first time, accompanied by his friends, die-hard fans of the original trilogy. His life was changed in more ways than one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Han Shot First

**Author's Note:**

  * For [biblionerd07](https://archiveofourown.org/users/biblionerd07/gifts).



> Merry Blue Christmeth, biblionerd07! Uh, I hope you like Star Wars!

"Okay, Jesse, make sure to be on your best behavior at the Mayhews' house."

"I will, Mom," Jesse said earnestly, not bothering to point out that Mrs. Mayhew didn't care about dumb stuff like setting the table for dinner or keeping your feet off the furniture. Badger's house was fun.

"Do you need money for the movie?"

Jesse almost said no, that Mrs. Mayhew was paying for them all because it was Badger's birthday party, but instead he said, "Yeah, thanks," and pocketed the twenty she gave him.

"Okay. And you have your sleeping bag? And your card for Brandon?"

"Mo-om, I got this. I'm not a little kid anymore."

"No. I suppose not. Well, have fun! I'll pick you up tomorrow morning at ten."

"Can't you come a little later?"

"You know you have to write that essay for social studies this weekend. And don't you have an algebra exam on Monday?"

"I'll have all day Sunday, though. After church, I mean," Jesse added hastily.

"Eleven, then," Mom said. "The Mayhews are nice to have you boys over for a sleepover but I'm sure they don't want you hanging around all day."

"Fine, eleven," Jesse said, because he recognized the look on her face and he didn't want her to change her mind and say he couldn't go to the party at all. He couldn't wait until he could drive himself places, but that was three long years away. "Thanks, Mom."

"You're welcome, Jesse. Be good!" she called, as Jesse grabbed his stuff and ran out of the car, up the Mayhews' driveway. Badger let him in. 

"Hey, what's up, man?" Badger said. "Oh, c'mon, you can put your bag in the rec room. You're the first one here."

"Cool," Jesse said. He threw his stuff on the floor. "Who else is coming?"

"Pete and Christian. I wanted to invite Jennifer but my mom said no girls." Badger shrugged. "She probably wouldn't have appreciated Star Wars anyway. I mean, like, what are the odds that they'd re-release A New Hope into theaters on my birthday? Like, astronomical, right?"

"Totally," Jesse said. He didn't point out that he didn't think Jennifer would have come, even if Badger's mom had let him invite her.

"It's gotta be a sign," Badger said. "Like, the Force is totally with me."

"Right," Jesse said, nodding vigorously. He was happy when Pete and Christian joined them, loudly sharing their excitement at the chance to see Star Wars on the big screen. Jesse didn't know why he hadn't just said the truth: that he'd never seen the Star Wars movies before. He knew _about_ them, obviously, like that Darth Vader was Luke's dad and all that stuff. He'd just never seen the movie all the way through. He hadn't thought it was that big of a deal until this special edition re-release thing. Those movies were super old. Twenty years old, apparently.

Still, he was sure he'd like the movie. If Badger and Pete liked it, it was probably cool. His friends quoted the movie all the way to the movie theater. Luckily, they didn't notice Jesse's silence. Mrs. Mayhew bought their movie tickets, plus a big popcorn and Cokes.

"I'll pick you boys up afterward," she said. "Have fun!"

After she left, Jesse said, "Your mom is so cool."

Badger shrugged. "Yeah, I guess."

"She's not hot like your mom, though," Christian said.

"Eww, my mom is _so_ not hot," Jesse said.

"She like, kinda is though?" Pete said.

"Shut up, it's starting!" Badger hissed, although it was really just the previews. Still, everybody shut up.

Jesse frowned when the movie started with a big block of text. He didn't read very fast and he was afraid he'd miss something. Also, why was this Episode IV? He thought they were seeing the first one. He leaned forward intently.

At first, he thought the special effects looked a little lame, but soon he was hooked. At the end, when Luke blew up the Death Star, Jesse couldn't help but yell " _Aw yeah!_ " out loud.

He heard his friends whoop too, and when the lights came up in the theater, Jesse said, "That was _awesome_." Unfortunately, at the same time his friends said, "That _sucked_."

"Wait, what?" Jesse asked.

"Oh my god, I can't believe all the stuff they changed," Badger moaned.

"Like, what's with Greedo shooting first?" Pete asked.

"And like, why was _Jabba_ there?" Christian added.

"Oh, I guess I didn't notice," Jesse said.

"Didn't _notice_ that George Lucas _butchered_ his movie?" Badger asked.

"Um, I guess I haven't like, seen it that many times. I don't have it like, _memorized_ or whatever," Jesse said. "It was just cool to see it on the big screen."

"I mean, yeah, that was cool," Christian said.

"Yeah. The Death Star was _huge_ ," Badger said. 

They kept talking about the movie until an annoyed usher kicked them out, and then all the way back to Badger's house. They talked about Star Wars until Mrs. Mayhew made them stop and sing "Happy Birthday" to Badger. Badger blew out his candles and opened his gifts. Jesse had gotten him a gift certificate to the mall and a knitted hat his Aunt Ginny had made. 

"Cool, thanks," Badger said, immediately putting on the hat. 

Then Mrs. Mayhew cleared the table and everyone started talking about Star Wars again.

"Hey, we should watch the original movies," Christian said. "You have them, right?"

"Duh," Badger said. 

"Yeah, let's watch the versions with, what's it called, _integrity_ ," Pete added.

"Totally," Jesse agreed, anxious to see the movie again. They went back to the rec room and Badger reverently put a tape in the VCR. 

This version was slightly different from what he'd seen in the theater earlier, although Jesse wasn't as offended by this as the other guys were. They cheered at the scene in the bar, when Han shot the green alien.

"Yeah, bitch, Han shot first," Badger said.

"I don't see what's the big deal," Jesse admitted.

"The big _deal_!" Pete said.

"Like. In the stupid new special edition, it's like, Greedo got the jump on Han," Christian said. "But it's supposed to be that Han knew all along, and he's like so badass."

"It's totally a big deal," Badger agreed.

Jesse thought about that. "But maybe it's kind of better if he doesn't shoot until he gets shot at first? I mean he's a good guy, right?"

Badger groaned. "No way, that's the whole point, he's not a good guy. Not like an all the way good guy."

"Not _yet_ ," Pete added.

"Right, yeah, not yet," Badger agreed.

"It's better, because this way he _changes_ ," Pete explained. 

"Plus he's more badass," Christian said.

"Yeah, way more badass," Badger said.

"I guess that makes sense," Jesse said, although he wasn't totally convinced. "I like Luke better anyway."

"Wait, _what_?" Badger asked.

"No way," Christian said.

"But like, Luke gets to be a Jedi. And he blows up the Death Star. That's awesome," Jesse said.

"But Han gets the Princess. And he's just like, way cooler," Badger said.

"Yeah, Luke's a dork," Christian said.

"And he'd totally be dead if it wasn't for Han," Pete said. "Speaking of which, put on _Empire_ , Badger."

"Right on, right on," Badger said, getting up to change tapes. 

After it was over, Jesse said, "Whoa, that's even better than the first one."

"Yeah, obviously," Pete said.

"Wait, Jesse, have you never seen _Empire_ before?" Badger asked.

Everyone turned to look at Jesse, and he could feel himself blush. "I mean… no, I guess not? I mean, not like, all the way through? I dunno, I don't really remember. You know how my mom is, about like, movies and stuff?"

"I mean, I know, but I didn't think she was like, Hitler about it," Badger said.

Jesse shrugged. 

"Well, that settles it, we gotta watch all three tonight," Pete said solemnly. "You gotta see the gospel versions before they re-release the other two."

"I heard they're gonna put even more Ewoks in Jedi," Badger said, a phrase that meant nothing to Jesse.

"Man, no way," Christian said. "They _cannot_ do that."

"Just nothing but Ewoks," Badger said, in a jokey-threatening way.

"I can't handle that," Pete said, shuddering dramatically.

"Hey, I bet my cousin could get us some pot," Christian offered. 

There was a pause while everyone considered that. Jesse had never smoked pot before. Had his friends done it without him? Had they all been smoking pot and watching Star Wars while he was stuck doing homework? 

"I bet being high would totally make the Ewoks better," Pete mused. 

Christian nodded thoughtfully. "I'll give him a call," he said, glancing at Badger for confirmation. Badger nodded back, and Christian picked up the cool see-through cordless phone Badger got to have in the rec room. He spoke some fast Spanish into the phone, then looked up and said, "He needs twenty bucks for it, anybody got any money?"

Jesse thought about it for a second. There was a chance his mom would want change back from the money she'd given him for the movie. But a lot of times she forgot about stuff like that--she was more on his back about schoolwork and stuff than money. He fished the twenty out of his pocket and said, "It's on me. Happy birthday, Badger!"

His friends cheered, and Jesse smiled. They started watching _Return of the Jedi_ while they waited for Christian's cousin to come by. They paused it right when everyone was having a crazy desert fight. Christian slipped out the side door, and came back a few minutes later, shaking a little Ziplock baggie at them.

Christian went to crack open one of the rec room's windows, and Badger said, "What are you doing, man? It's fucking freezing."

"It's not that cold, man. Just trying to get a little ventilation so it doesn't stink in here."

"Forget it, my mom never comes in here," Badger said. "And she's asleep upstairs anyway."

Jesse sighed enviously. Badger's mom let him get away with anything. His dad did, too, whenever Badger went to his apartment.

Christian shrugged and closed the window. "Alright, let's get blazed."

Jesse sat back and watched his friends. He was relieved to realize that Badger and Pete seemed to be watching Christian, too. Maybe it was their first time as well. When the blunt came around to him, he took a deep, confident inhale, then let out a rattling cough.

"Easy, man," Christian said, slapping Jesse on the back. "It's more like this." He demonstrated.

"Right, yeah," Jesse said, biting back the urge to keep coughing. He tried again. "Hmm." He didn't feel anything, but he passed it on to Pete.

"How do you feel?" Christian asked.

"I dunno if it's working," Jesse said. Maybe he'd done it wrong after all. Maybe he was allergic to weed or something.

"Give it a minute," Christian advised. Badger unpaused the movie, and Jesse settled back to keep watching. A few minutes later he started to feel a little floaty.

"Whoa," he said. "Space is _huge_."

"Oh my God, totally," Badger agreed. "Totally huge."

They watched for awhile in contented silence. Jesse wasn't sure if he was high exactly, but he felt so _good_. Then Luke returned to Dagobah and Jesse bit his fist in anxiety at how sick Yoda looked.

"But beware. Anger, fear, aggression. The dark side are they. Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny," Yoda said.

"That's so true," Jesse said. Then he went to the bathroom so no one would notice he was crying. When he came back, Badger had brought the rest of his birthday cake from the kitchen and everyone was eating pieces of it with their bare hands. Jesse grabbed a chunk too. It tasted way better than it had earlier that evening, so he guessed what people said about the munchies was true.

"Do you guys think they have cake in Star Wars?" Pete asked.

"Totally," Badger said. 

"Why _wouldn't_ there be cake?" Christian asked.

"Chill out, I dunno. I was just wondering. Like maybe in that universe they don't have, like flour. So they can't make cake. They have like, something else they eat instead."

"Yeah, space cake," Badger said, and they all laughed. 

Then Jesse was transfixed by what was happening onscreen. He stared and said, "Oh my God, the Ewoks are so cute."

"See, I told you they'd be better if we were stoned," Christian said. Everyone laughed again. Everything was so funny tonight.

Finally, the Rebels triumphed, and Luke's ghost dad watched him proudly. Jesse couldn't explain why he felt so sad, so abruptly. It was probably from the pot.

After the credits finished, Christian said, "Let's watch _New Hope_ again." Badger complied, and as the introductory text scrolled by, Jesse understood how his friends could watch these movies over and over. He watched the scene in the Mos Eisley Cantina carefully. Han _did_ shoot first. Jesse didn't say anything this time, but he still kind of liked the new version better. The good guys shouldn't just go around shooting people, not unless they had to.

Mostly, though, he still wanted to be Luke. Jesse was thirteen, way too old to hope that one day someone would show up and tell him he had magic powers. Still, that was the thought running through his head when he eventually fell asleep that night, and the daydream that sustained him through the rest of his weekend's chores and homework. Even if he wasn't a Jedi, maybe he'd discover some kind of awesome secret skill and wouldn't end up stuck here in the desert forever.


End file.
